I feel like I can't pull myself together anymore. Everything will slowly start breaking down and disappearing. Life will change.

And I'm scared of that change.

I love how I can be so obnoxious about everything but when it comes to asking things that I care about I chicken out.

I don't get boys

One day they tell you to cover up and then the next day you waste your money for something to flash more skin.

really?

A nice picture with a nice label.

Nothing left to say or do.

You will do great in university

^Thanks mates. Now, if I fail in the coming 10 months your words will be wandering in my mind forever. They expect you to do well, despite falling at first. However, there is no example to follow, no relative who can be your role model other than a brother who couldn't stand his first year. Sheesh. I'm not even that smart.

In fact, looking at some of my course syllabi is already starting to freak me out. And I haven't even paid for first year. Bollocks.

So many things to do, so little time.

I think that because I'm shy and quiet around people I don't talk to very often makes it seem that I hate them. I always thought that would happen; however, I cannot find a way to avoid it. Fuck you german school classmates for bullying.

I remember you said it could only get better, but lately i haven't seen that effort. Especially from your part.

In a world where we want to give and receive, I only request this from some but not everyone. Telling you about this would be like dropping an atomic bomb. It's not getting better or worse, it's being taken away.

I guess

I guess I suppress my emotions too much. Like for example, I left things undone four years ago because I was too afraid to let him know how I felt, and about two summers ago I confessed and my heart hurt like a fucking biznatch. Unfortunately, although feelings were met, the distance was far too... far. And he was going to a club after, which leaves me thinking that he was probably pre-drinking or some crap like that.
But anyways, emotions are a weird thing to me. I either don't care, or care to the extreme where I cannot physically control it; it takes over my body.

Right now, I feel like I do not care. Life is deteriorating slowly as my dad told me that he bought a wheelchair looking thing for my Opi (granddad), which made me realize that 18 years ago he could still laugh and walk without falling. And 18 years ago, I was born.

On a random side note, in German there are three articles (der, das, die), and back in the old days I had to learn which article belonged to the words. My trick was to see which one sounded prettier with the word, and I usually was right. Hellz yeah, I have good taste in languages.

Oh, and speaking of German, I saw my Pre-Kinder and Kindergarten report cards. It says I needed psychological help when I was little. Well, I would love to buy a 1000 dollar ticket and going back to Chile just to show my pre-school teacher that I do NOT need a psychologist; in fact, I am on my way to becoming a teacher -and I was the top in my class when I went to my school, honour roll all through high school in Canada, and I was offered scholarships from the universities I applied, which I sadly declined to pursue my dream closer to home.

...

Maybe I do need a psychologist. Oh well, there are too many expenses and dreams that have to be taken care of before I think of my mental health.

Cheers.

This might sound confusing

But I don't know if I know what I want to do with my life, or if what I know makes me think I don't know what I want.

I love how

a veces te comportai como un pendejo ql

I wanna travel next summer, cuz this one sucks even more than last year.

Yeah, I hate summer. Two fucking summers in a row "having the time of my life"

School, come faster please so I can drown myself into readings and forget the stupid shit that happens around here.

PLEASE

Speechless

And I know that it’s complicated
But I’m a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends

Gaga, you've done it again

We agree to disagree

That's honestly one of the best lines I've heard this summer. Too bad it came from a movie and not a person's mouth.

I really feel that I am losing touch with everyone. Living so far from what I used to know as my "new home" is really getting me. Seriously, stop moving. I want to stay... because of moving so much and being a shy girl, I can say that I have no real (exclude cousins) childhood friends left. I'm sorry but if you ever dreamed of me growing up alongside a neighbour's child, then you killed your own imagination.

I am seriously not moving out of my house until I get married. I don't want to move anymore. I want to be stable.

It's not that I don't care.

I'm just too shy to say it

I am back

Why yes, I started writing again and I gotta say that my fanfic has less than 10 chapters left! I have it all planned out in my mind, and written on Word Document :)

I love how my fanfic is written in Spanish so no one other than my "fans" could read it. It's pretty embarrassing, but if I ever have enough courage, I'll translate it :$

THE OFFICE TIME

review count: as of now, i have 611 reviews :)

Do I really look this stupid?

Please tell me so I can stop worrying as to why you treat me like a dumb person

I don't want to sound arrogant, but you don't really deserve being my friend.

You're NOT welcome for finding you a boyfriend, for making that boyfriend less desperate, for trying to hang out with you, coping with your stupidity, the awkwardness, the weird boring comments, your plagiarism.

Yeah, everyone says shit about others; however your toilet is clogged with your crap.

Sorry, but not really.

Sometimes I wonder what keeps us together

I don't know

I'd rather not know

Yet I can't let go

Don't let go either, please

Post #95

Hi person who likes me writing things on blogspot and tumblr :)

I hope you like this post, I dedicate it to you!

Every little thing is gonna be all right(8)!

time

Mom asked me if I was sad about ending high school. I just shrugged my shoulders, without an answer. Then she said that as time passes, I'll realize those years were the best in life. I think otherwise.

I don't want high school to be my best years. I'm only 18, there's so much to discover. Life cannot end after grade 12, I don't want it to.

I don't want university to be the best four, five, or six years of my life. There's still a lot to learn.

I want my whole life to be my favourite years. Every single year, month, week, day. There is no way I can learn everything I need to know in just one time of my life. I should be continuously learning until I die. Learning never stops.

So no, Mom, my childhood and adolescence should not be my best years.

~Peace

A big eff you to that person who made it to my university but in fact still doesn't know that she's not smart enough to pass first year.

Yeah you

fuck you

So I think I'm a celebrity in fanfiction.net LOL

my fanfic from 2 years ago has 586 reviews, 40,000+ hits, 131 favourites and 105 alerts =3

To you know who

hey i'm an internet celebrity too!!

I usually have songs stuck in my head when life changes

Right now, I have the whole Philadelphia Chickens album stuck in my head -_-

I apologize in advance if I look like I'm in the clouds; I'm in fact figuring out good harmonies for the songs :$

I'm starting to doubt what having a heart really means

Let's say you were holding a balloon

every time you talked arrogantly about yourself your balloon got bigger

then I pop your balloon so that you realize that maybe others are capable of doing the same

and then what do you do? Oh yeah, act like a voldemort's nipple

smooothh

Appreciate

I really want to thank you lunch friends for still letting me sit with them even though we don't hang out after school anymore :$ Sucks how whenever there is a chance I am always busy, but I know that they need to fix their own problems before anything else. Thank you for still opening up to me despite our distance, and I am happy you all (well, most) get along with the other friends I have (you are all too polite to hate anyone, that's what I like about you)

I love you girls, thank you for being my friends

Birthday sex

I can't believe this is my second birthday with you

time flies!

Moving Back

It feels like I am moving back home with this whole buying a house thing

first of all, my new house does not really have the Canadian look that most houses do. The living room and dining room are not together, for example

second, well, its like right in front of a beach :| dude, that's gonna be bomb LOL

third, my dad wants a dog. Dogs are quite common in a chilean household. The funny thing is that we're getting one for FREE, which is even more common in chile

fourth, my house is kinda random, like chilean houses

fifth, all the houses look the same. that is such a chilean thing... especially in condominiums. LOL

well, welcome back to my old lifestyle in a "new" place!!

"Your dad and I are the only people who will always be there for you unconditionally"

yeah, sorry for causing you so much pain

Maybe the reason why I am not that enthusiastic about celebrating my birthday with my friends is because my relationship with my family is kinda falling apart.

As a matter of fact, I am not excited about anything. At all.

NEW GOAL: to save 1500 by the time I move

therefore, i must save 300 dollars from every paycheck I get

Dear Parents

Dear Mom,

In about two weeks I will turn eighteen

How years have passed!

Remember when I was five

and you forced me to wear diapers

because I had a urinary infection?

Yeah, those were and are the days...

I have a lock in my room,

but now that lock instead of giving me privacy

is locking me away from you

and I don't know how to stop it

I'm sorry I have to put you through all of this stress

and that I don't have the courage to help you

because if I did, I wouldn't be as wonderful as you are

Dear Dad

I guess the only time I let you hold me was when I was born

and when our dog died

oh fuck, I've never seen you cry so hard before

but now your tears are not visible

and we both see how our relationship deteriorates

I don't know how to stop it

If I try, then either you or I will make one stupid mistake

and go back to the starting point

I was always cold when you tucked me in bed

I guess you got that from your dad

He was never a good example for you

So how could you show us the right way

when your own parents didn't even show you yours?

Fuck life is hard

and in about two weeks we will go to the bank

I will be free from you

A part of me is excited

but the other one is shitting her pants

Dear Parents

I am about to graduate and become equal to you

You both never had the chance to go to university or college

Never even bothered thinking about them

If I could go back in time I would change some things

If I could, I guess we would still be living in Chile

We would own a dog

We would still meet up with family on weekends

Dad, maybe you could have paid more attention to your son

Mom, maybe I could have helped you with the family

I could have cried at your father's funeral

but because I didn't have the courage to show what I felt,

I never got to pay my respects to him

Dad, maybe you could have tried and change your mother

so that she remembered my birthday, instead of making me think of her

as an insensitive old lady

Soon, you will be gone

I will be gone

"It doesn't matter that much to you if we move to this house. You're not staying here forever"

You're so right mom

Things didn't go our way

but you both still fight

and seeing you struggle every day breaks my heart

The worst part is that I never had the courage to open up

and tell you what I actually felt

what I feel right now

I was always scared you were going to make fun of me, Dad

It haunted me; it still does

I really don't want you reading this

but hey, I guess a part of me is growing up too fast

whereas the other is still staying as a child

You've both done what you could with all your efforts

I wish I could buy a ticket to the past

but I guess I will just have to make it up with my own children

when they grow up, I will not be like my grandparents

Because that is what shaped you dad

and now guess what?

You do not talk to your eldest son

You are losing touch with me

You are really stressed over your two youngest sons

I will do my best

to love my children

and to make sure they don't end up in a family

that doesn't know what it feels like to be loved

good night

So if you have a minute why don't we go

talk about it somewhere only we know?

...

I'm getting older and I need something to rely on

It really hurts when people joke around saying they have ADD

They don't know what it feels like living with a person who has ADD

I wish they shut up

I woke up from a dream just to find out I was never going back to it.

Save Me

Save me from falling down the stairs

from locking myself up in the basement

from not eating at the dinner table

from never mowing the lawn

from staying up all night and sleeping all day

Save me from separating my mind and body

but at the same time

let me know what it feels like to be left out

Dear reader

my dad's furious because I yanked my fan out of his hands while he was helping me with my osap application. my mom came to my room explaining how they're the only people that i will always rely on --unconditionally

and how do i feel like?

i feel like nothing

no emotions

just a blank face

goodbye

Holy Shit

It's been a year and five months and I still love you
this is amazing

You know you have a good friend when...

well, you know =)

Gee "sorry" for pointing something out

I broke a glass jar of strawberry (or raspberry) jam at work after a sweet little old lady paid for it. I was packing it in her shopping cart and it literally slipped out of my hands. I felt so bad, the cute old lady said "oh that's fine, I didn't need it anyways" and holy shat first thought as it was falling: nah it won't break
Second thought: shit it broke
Third thought: i.am.in.so.much.trouble.
Fourth thought as my face turned into the color of my sweater (yeah, i was wearing my hot pink sweater) and as my coworker stared at me: oh crap i'm getting fired

It turns out I didn't get fired. I was a good girl and told one of the supervisors what happened and he actually helped me clean it. My other co-workers were telling me that accidents happen and that this is by far not the worst thing that has spilled on the floor (quoting one of their words "vinegar and olive is way worse than this"). That made me feel better. So I cleaned my mess, the old sweet lady got another jar of jam (i think), and the cashier I was helping got a small bruise on her foot :( But everything is fine now, I hope.

Later on that day I was talking to a friend who also works as a cashier assistant and she mentioned how you're not supposed to rush things, or else accidents happen. I guess I'm not the only one who's made a mistake like that!
so pheww
anyways I just found this really old vid of when my cousin Javiera visited me, and holy cow i was fat :|
and don't mind the language :P

This really sums up my childhood under your shadow

Too bad you can't understand it

braiN deaD

this is horrible, i cannot think today :( i've been trying to write my essay for like 4 hours and it's not working (on top of other things)
father was being a butt again today; he just needs to open his mouth and then shit happens. congrats on making my day suck
I don't know, maybe I need my nap :S i really, really need a nap in order to stay up late -- like, really. I'm not joking, i NEED a nap. If I don't take it, i will fall asleep earlier, which is a total bummer in some occasions.
anyways, I am really excited about prom now that we're set with the hotel and uh.. soft drinks. lol (A) i hope that night makes up for all the stuff that happened in the last 4 years. however, the day after that, i have to start moving my stuff from my current cave - i mean room. summer will be really different this year, i know, i can tell. At least I'll be with most of my good friends at the same school next year, but the ones that are missing will surely be missed.
LMFAO I'm currently watching the first wives club. it's a 90's movie featuring diane keaton, bette midler and goldie hawn. i LOL'd at this part where they were singing like teenage girls and then diane keaton bursts out in the chorus and the other two are so weirded out by it xD It really feels like something that NVG would do.
Im so glad things are fine with us. Yeah, goodbye to the old grade nine days where we sang irreplaceable. But hey! it's like the garden of eden; we destroyed it, so now we gotta aim for the best we can. and i know we can.
today was my first day as a cashier assistant at costco and im pretty satisfied with my results =) since i didnt know what to do, every one was really nice and corrected me and i felt like making mistakes was fine. although it was like a 5 hours workout (YAY!) and right now i can't work on my essay, it was a good way to start the routine that will follow for the next 3 months =) The good thing is that I'mm already familiar wiht the staff and I already have my friends, so people were congratulating me at work 8(as i figured out, if one place doesn't make u feel good, the other one will!!

I don't really miss the flower job, but i HOPE HOPE HOPE that my old supervisor realizes that he has the answer RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE! Dude, they fully say they don't discriminate but he's fully discriminating right now -_- like wtf...

Some one's birthday is coming up soon ;) It's time to finish my present and then see if there's anything on my brain that can me written on paper!



ps: I guess being more open will help. can't wait till we call!!

11:11

I stopped wishing for me and started wishing for you

Stopped wishing for us just so you could make it

It better work this time

So this may sound really disgusting
but the worst thing about throwing up in your sink
is when the sink is already clogged with some of your (or your brother's) crap.
*sighs* at least dad got this special liquid that cleans it =D

This is horrible

I threw up twice (ew bile), got out of my system everything I ate yesterday (it starts with d and ends with a), I got really dizzy, and then I got a fever :(

It feels like I can’t sing anymore because I lost my voice too.

u.u

I wasn't the only one who got sick today; two of my friends felt like that too, so I think that it's because of the NYC trip. We probably ate something or lacked sleep.

Another reason as to why I got sick could be my recent reactions to milk. Lately, my stomach has been hurting whenever I drink milk and I don't know why. Last night I drank milk and this happened. The stupid thing is that it's like a habit for me to drink tea and milk -_- I've always drank it but never got any bad effects from it. If this gets worse, I should go to the doctor.

I guess I won't be able to drink milk anymore 8(

I'm so fucking tired -_-
Today I went grocery shopping for New York because I'm planning on not spending money at all on food so I can buy presents for my family. After looking at my parents' bank account balance, they really need a treat. Right now I feel like I am the only one who can lift up their spirits (older bro doesn't care, middle bro doesn't understand, little bro is going through puberty) so I guess that some presents from New York will make them feel better.
After I saw the amount they have, I realized how much I need a job to help my family. I would honestly put my own goals aside to pay the bills for them, just to give them a little help.
This trip to New York will be more than a music competition, it'll be like a new experience (I mean, New York City+Friends-Parents=Kicks ass). I hope that by next Sunday things get better and I get a free lunch muahahaha >:)
It's really depressing seeing how mom is about to break down whenever she tries to help brother #2. She can't teach him because he can't learn. It's making me sad, really sad. My brothers will not have a future :/
Anyways, this trip will give me some alone time, which is really needed.

We're past the honeymoon stage

Wow sociology is really useful eh? I guess the turbulence started. Fasten up your seat belts!

Lo mejor es que nadie entiende.

And for a moment

i feel like writing in spanish!
Ahh la cosa de volver a la lengua materna. Te da un sentido de q perteneces en un lugar donde la vida sería cien veces mejor que en la que estás. Es muy difícil escribir en la lengua materna cuando apenas se habla, como comer con palillos chinos sin saber. En serio, me duele el corazón cada vez que me acuerdo de lo lindo que era ser niña, pero también es lindo saber que hay alguien que aunque cumpla 19 o 90 años todavía te hace sentir como si tuvieras 2.

New York is probably going to be the best four days of grade 12. Out of home, out of school, just bright lights=heaven

Right now

Right now, i really want things to get better
i want you all to realize that you're being jerks
i'm being a jerk too


but HEY GUESS WHAT i am not the only one who makes mistakes -_- make sure you all check your own flaws too okay?

So I'm watching "Ancient Discoveries" on History Channel and the episode is about old buildings that inspired New York City. It's getting me sooo excited
New York City+Ancient Rome, Greece, etc=Gabby's ultimate orgasm

Holy Fucking Shit

Why the fuck does menstruation hurt like a bitch?

My day

Kind of sucked big time lol

Spongebob: Patrick! The clam just had a baby!
Patrick: It's not a baby Spongebob. It's white, round, and it came out of a clam. It's a Volleyball!!

Ohhh spongebob. Always cheering me up with your childish jokes when others are acting childish

You like rubbing things on my face and showing off don't you?

And out of all people

Out of all people
Out of all trials and errors
I learned not to judge you

Soo theyre making me work on a friday at noon while im supposed to be at school. i told my boss and he said that i should tell the school i have work. like, dude, how stupid ARE you!? school vs work? im sorry but i want a succesful future buddy, not taking care of your fucking flowers

To Do List

1. Go to Futureshop to ask for phone warranty (CHECK)
   
2. Call for prom dress
3. Pay $90 phone bill (I should pay for this soon)
4. Pass all my classes
5. Get honour roll
6. uhh tell Avon I quit 3 months ago? (UHH... CHECK KINDA)
   
7. UTM, here we come.
8. Accomodate to new house? (CHECK???)
   
9. Clean my whole room because there's a stupid Open House (CHECK!)
   
10. Last payment for NYC! (CHECK!!!!!)
11. Find a backup prom dress if I can't get a customized one 8(
    

Don't expect a perfect bunch of flowers
Why? Because flowers are living beings
You never see a perfect tree or a perfect squirrel
Heck, no you will never see a perfect human.
So if humans are living beings, and we're expected to not be perfect
How come a flower should be?
They both live, create and die.

So flowers shouldn't be completely perfect
The defects add a sense of personality ;)

Can we?

"This boy is getting more stupid everyday"

This family is deteriorating as we go away

To Do List

1. Go to Futureshop to ask for phone warranty
2. Call for prom dress
3. Pay $90 phone bill (shoot me)
4. Pass all my classes
5. Get honour roll
6. uhh tell Avon I quit 3 months ago?
   
7. UTM, here we come.
8. Accomodate to new house?
9. Clean my whole room because there's a stupid Open House
10. Last payment for NYC!
    

I'm moving to the Lakeshore area, which is pretty far from here if you bike/bus
so come visit me!! 8( there is a beach near my (new) housee!!

And looking at the For Sale sign in front of my current house is just depressing
it makes me feel like i have no home

open house this saturday! yay! (not)

Rant

It really annoys me when people assume they're invited somewhere. Wait until they invite you instead of inviting yourself mkay? That way, you avoid the embarrassment of being seen as a nosy and extra person. This doesn't go to anyone in particular, it's in general.


Weee me like ranting on blog 8D

Whatever happened to loving History

"We disappoint, we disappear, we die but we don't"

Whatever happened to knowing that you'd be there to listen, not to complain.
Grade nine: ugly faces, glasses, fobness, pizza, getting to know each other
Grade ten: coming back, learning more, getting closer, straighter
Grade eleven: being my pet (a good pet), being a friend, messier but still nice
Grade twelve: disappointed, bitchy, always complaining, too confident

Confidence is good. Keep it. But, please, control it.

"No more riddles, please"

you are not sandra dee
On a better note...
Last night made me believe that it is possible. There's chemistry, there's laughter. Look at the bright sides, at the dance floor; couples flying flawlessly.
Thank you. I love you

End of the day reflection

Funny how you think/believe that some people are close friends of yours; however, the moment one thing comes up, then they stop talking to you. This is where the category of "temporary good friend" comes in. In my terms, 'temporary good friend" is someone who you share "meaningful" moments with for a short while, and who is not truly a good friend. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying temporary good friends are fake (well, everyone is fake); unlike a permanent good friend, a temporary good friend is not there to greet you everyday. A temporary good friend is someone who can enjoy a fun moment with you, but int he long run their importance to you will be the size of a peanut compared to a true friend's. A true friend is the one who you can talk to after 4 months/years/decades of not seeing each other, and never experience an awkward moment. I honestly think that this type of friendship can only be achieved if you and the other person share an emotional moment; nevertheless, chemistry can always do wonders if there are no emotional moments.
It's okay to have temporary good friends! But if they never open up to you, or stop talking to you after a stupid incident, then there is no way they can become a true good friend.

What do ya think?

When people are freaking out, they don't even know what they say. So hopefully you didn't take what I said seriously because you know that it wouldn't happen. I guess that I was in a bad state but you were there like always. Thank you.

I love you <>

So I always thought that they were having a bit too much fun in this part.

Very awkward

I

would love to declare March 24, 2010 one of the best days in my life.
And why?

Well, you will never find out, sorry. HA-HA

I feel like dressing up and cam-whoring

THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIMES WHEN WORRYING ABOUT SCHOOL WASN'T THAT IMPORTANT

My room is messy whenever there is something bothering me
It's like a pattern
I clean it when I am in a good mood
but something comes and ruins it and my room is back to messy
oh gee

Now it's really messy.
The messier it gets, the worse things are.

Which one should I be more scared of?
K.A.C.
or
K.O.R.

?

Sometimes

Sometimes biting your tongue hurts more than you think.
No, seriously, mine bleeds whenever I bite it by accident.
But that isn't what I'm referring to.
We have to bite our tongues to avoid saying unnecessary doodoo
Which, depending on what you want to say, determines how hard you're going to bite your tongue.

Makes sense, doesn't it?

Kryptonian Style- you will pwn every couple if you marry this way

Another thing I don't like is those guys that have hair like Justin Bieber's. It's not that attractive; I'd rather see people's blemishes that their hair covering the whole face.

By covering your face it looks like you're hiding something.

Go AWAY




Okay?

I really, really can't stand the smell of strong men's cologne. I can't breath whenever someone with that smell is in a room, it smells so... cheap
ugh

I can't stand people who look like they always have dirty hands either. Ew Ew Ew

So lately everything has inspired me to write stories. I remember getting this feeling when I was about 13 years old, and I started writing. But, of course, my first work was just a piece of caca that readers did not like very much; nevertheless the critics are what kept me going. I used to write in a fanfiction website -in Spanish- because it was the cool thing back then. I got a friend into reading them and consequently transforming her into an avid reader, which also happened to me.
And I ask myself...
Should I follow the path I started a few years ago despite the lack of time and patience I have for writing, or just let these stories dance in my mind, making my imagination more exciting before I sleep?
I guess I should improve my writing -writer's craft wasn't that much help- in at least one language. Right now I fail at both English and Spanish
Oh well, that's life

Let me get this out
I'm fed up with all your crap
No, literally, it's hitting the point where I don't even wanna see your face because I get mad
When someone tells you you're not acting like yourself, IT IS NOT A COMPLIMENT
STOP BEING BLIND
YOU ARE ANNOYING ME WITH YOUR ATTITUDE

Whatever happened to the old you? The NICE side of you. Geesh, wait, that was too long ago. It's probably hidden amidst all your new, more "confident" personality.

I keep telling myself that there are only three months left. Three months to keep up with your bitchiness. I think that if I only see you once a month things will be better, because I will only see you as the best friend I've missed, not the bitch I can't stand

Yeah, fuck you. Fuck your new attitude. I love you, but fuck you're so annoying now.
And my guess is that if I tell you this, you will weep in someone else's arms and make me look bad. You know I'm like that too, but hey, sometimes it's good keeping things to yourself

When someone hints you a sign more than once -or TEN TIMES- then it's time for you to NOTICE that maybe, just maybe, there is something that you should change. You know I tell you what I think; that's how I am sometimes. But right now I don't want to get to the point where I have to yell at your face for being so blind.

Right now, I still talk to you. You're fine sometimes. And other times... ugh, I just want to pull my hair off.

I don't really wanna be the one who tells you this. And no, I am not pmsing. It's been going for a while

Good night

thank God I have a blog you will never read

An underdog's words

Remember the bright side, the side that everyone saw. What happens behind the scenes better stays behind the scenes. Just look at the bright side! Perfection is hard to reach, blowing away others as well, but the standing ovation was well deserved; the laughs, the dance, the lack of tears. That's what happens when it's pure fluff. Just look at the bright side. The bright side is was stands out from everything else. It came with lights, and sound. Even though perfection was not reached, the standing ovation was well deserved.
Congratulations, it's over!

I haven't felt this upset in a long time.
I'm just glad I'm not the only one.
And I should be honest; today was good, but last year was better.
I'm not being biased

grrrr

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better

Intricacy

I've come to realize that I've been wearing the wrong sizes for a long time and it is time to change my clothes. I've had to adjust some of them because I'm too lazy to buy new things LOL, but this is what I want so far:

* Elbow Shirt
* BEBE shirts (I think that will be my new style even though it's expensive)
* V-necks (dynamite has really nice ones)
* Flats
* Boyfriend blazer <33 (I fell in love with this when I saw it in Stitches)
* Gladiators for summer
* Belted boots (that's the only way I could name them LOL)
* Big Belts
* Super skinny jeans or jean leggings (I have some old loose fit jeans that I could adjust to skinnies)
* Black beaner
* Buttoned dress (kinda like a long, fitted shirt)
* Summer dress (maybe?)
* Plaid shirt (a fitted one)
* Purses, accessories, etc (probably from ardene, they are cheap there)
* Formal capris
* Formal shorts
* MORE blouses (I'm in love with them)
* Bench. and/or FCUK sweater

I went to Dynamite last friday and tried on a skirt that was a size 5. It was loose, so they gave me a size 3 and it fitted like a glove. This made me realize that I did lose weight and that I should start being more confident (that plus someone special's make over boot camp LOL)

My style will now be "intricate". I want to be unique, unlike everyone else who buys the same things from the same stores (i.e. UB, costa blanca). I'll still buy from there but not as often. It's time to show off the curves I have :|

BUT FIRST, I must save money. I'm also planning on shopping in New York in May. This is going to be so cool. So for now, I must NOT spend that much money. My goal is to save up 500 bucks for May. Plus, I gotta buy a present for my special someone ;)

I think that once summer comes, I'm going downtown for a shopping spree. I MUST go to forever 21 and get something from there. I love their stuff <3 they are intricate and fitted ;) My stores will be forever 21, garage, dynamite, BEBE but if I feel cheap, I will shop at UP, stitches and stuff. UB and Costa Blanca will still be part of the list but I won't buy as much from them

Please Mr Postman

PLEASE MR POSTMAN
BRING ME A BIG FAT PACKAGE FROM UTM
I beg you...
After spending a whole day at that school it motivated me to work hard next semester. I really REALLY wanna go there. Like really.
The library kicks ass
The people are nice
The environment is just cool
And a certain someone goes there :$

Although I could have spent this day in my bed slacking I decided to wake up at 5:30 AM and catch the bus with my kick ass boyfriend. I felt so young, being the only 17 year old there and all. i actually got to study for my last exam and watched the beginning of Inglorious Basterds.

I've never felt so young in my whole life.

But yes, me wants a UTM acceptance package for my birthday too.

PLEAAASE

Words of Love

There is this one note from Family Studies that really got my attention. It talks about the different types of love. Today, resting from writing that soooooooooft exam, I decided to google up these words and Wikipedia nicely has a page dedicated to them, titled "Greek words of love"
I thought of sharing them
(shit I just had a deja vu)
Eros: "erotic love", based on strong romantic feelings toward one another. This erotic love takes place at the beginning of a relationship where you only see the good qualities of your partner. The romantic feeling common in "eros love" is natural and an important part of a relationship; however, we must learn to use both our heart and mind to judge if something is real.

Philos: a love based on friendship between two people. It is based on a give and take, where two people benefit from each other. Both partners try to meet their needs but are still concerned with regards of the other's needs. Its give and take nature makes Philos a higher type of love than Eros.

Agape: UNCONDITIONAL love. A love that is totally selfless. A love that EVERYONE should reach.

Those Greeks are so romantic

Today

Today, I saw my mother's wedding dress for the first time
It smelled funny

Today, I realized (once again) that no one has ever bought me a bouquet of real flowers
But I sold many

Today was my last day before exams started
And shit, this is shit

Today, my parents found our ideal home
but it was too expensive

Today, I figured that if I could live on residence my parents would not have to spend money on me
It could make their lives easier
Today, two little toddlers waved and smiled at me
I smiled back

Today, it felt like I was in a happier mood
But it was raining outside

Today, I tried on old dresses and they were kinda lose
But it seems like i still have to lose more
Today was Sunday
I wake up at 7am on Sundays and stand for 6 hours (or at least pretend I do) beside flowers

And I only want money and flowers for my birthday
A nice, colourful, mixed bouquet of fresh flowers

Newborn Gabriela ^ :O

Thank You

D.O.N.E.

I am finally DONE with all of these -stupid- CPT's. Last First sem in highschool ALMOST DONE
ugh exams are coming D:
ready to fail

As a humanities/social science kinda gal I can't really complain a lot, though. BUT HEY SCIENCE/MATH STUDENTS, READING TAKES UP A LOT OF YOUR TIME grrrrrr. And we have to actually develop and analyze what we learn :| so that can be pretty stressing
OH OH and don't forget Grease is less than a month away! (oh great) :D

Can't stop

Can't
stop
thinking
a
b
o
u
t

that
DRESS

Flaw

So you may wonder why I do these things
it's because I care for you
I think I see you like no one else has
you are flawed and so am I
possessive, manipulative, protective
jealous, blunt, introvert
So sometimes I wonder how we could make it this far
so many flaws, so many fights.
and it's because
I
care

We
care

Hurt me and I'll hurt myself even more for making you do it.
I'll follow any command you give me, anything
Tell me to jump off a cliff and I will
EVERY time I cry is because I can't make you happy
But then again I care for you
We care
We
care

Yeah, maybe I can't live up to your expectations
We're past the bliss stage
But a promise is a promise
I won't break this one.
I care for you
I LOVE you.

Before going to Bed

So I decided to blog before going to bed. Honestly, in class we aren't doing anything :| Next week will be hardcore studying bitches >:D
Today I found a perfect prom dress
HOPEFULLY I convince my mom to buy it for me!
I also want to show what keeps my heart in two places at the same time :O

Like A Rolling Stone

How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

ps: my cousin's daughter has awesome picture taking skills

Eid (not the festivity)

Don't die.
I don't wanna be torn among three worlds.

As last week ended on a good side (highlight of my weekend: a grade 10 thought I was fifteen years old...), this one didn't start on the good side. I woke up with a stuffy nose and a headache, and I took pretty long getting ready which meant that I came late to school. Luckily Ms Bilan said it was okay when I told her. Oh man I love my teachers <3

Sooo... I've been procrastinating all day today lol. I can't find inspiration or motivation to do my hwk and some of you know how geek I am and shit.

On the good side, though, I went to Wild Wing for the first time and it's pretty good :D thank you chey and yvonne, ur both awesome and Carol sucks for not coming D: It's fun spending time with you three odd people, we just make such an odd flute section. At least odder than what it already is...
ANYWAYS I have a thing of the word odd. It just describes the story of my life. Some oddness here, some oddness there...
Yesterday my cousin Daniella came to Costco and I saw her :O! She just came back from Chile and said that my other cousin misses me. FACK, that's what I mean by being torn between two worlds man. Two. Odd. Worlds. I'll get really depressed when my parents and younger brothers leave for a few weeks next year so... cheer me up.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE: I get the house for myself (my older brother is just another item in our household) for at least 2 weeks, YAY people can come over whenever they want! Sleepover! Gabby's room! Gabby's basement, kitchen, living room, garage, etc!
Yeah you get the deal.
I should stop spending money, ughh. I gotta remind myself of New York, Prom Dress, Laptop, Uni books, etc...
Hopefully tomorrow I will be feeling better :(


Tootles!

Hi blog

It's been long since I last blogged. Thank you Chey for reminding me to blog again LOL

So...
I've come to realize sometihng today, and it is how much one's opinion about some one else changes.
During spare I was talking to Mrs Glavine, my grade 9 and 11 religion teacher. She was my very first high school teacher and let's say that my first impression of her wasn't the bestLOL I think that because back then I was a grade 9, she wasn't really that open to her students. She kept shunning me 8( Or at least that's how it felt like.
But also, she was the one who motivated me to try more challenging things and I thank her greatly for that =) Like today she was saying how my English has improved and stuff n.n And she helped me with University and stuff, asking me why I am taking history and I love how she told me not to go to York LMFAO
I love how now we are all closer to our teachers and how they are so open to us. I wouldn't really think that Mrs Glavine would talk about her old dysfunctional family if we were in a younger grade. The bad thing is that this is our last year. Ughh I hate how everything is our last now :( Well I like it and hate it too because a part of me is sick of high school and wants to go to university *cough* UTM* cough*
Oh well, there is still one more semester.
Hmm this first week of school has been really, like REALLY GOOD. I would say one of the BEST weeks I've had in a long time.
MONDAY- I stayed up so late the night before to finish my first period presentation but we didn't present (YAAAAAY); HOWEVER, we got our research papers back and my mark was MUCH better than I expected. Gawsh, I love improving in my writing.
TUESDAY- I asked Mrs Boss if I could help for the play and she offered me the spot of stage manager, so another YAAAAY =D c'mon stage manager sounds so cool. OH OH OH AND I finally saw my grad pics :D they're pretty good and I gotta choose two (HELP MEEEE)
WEDNESDAY- CHOIR. Not gonna lie, I missed it a lot even though we are singing the same old songs from last year :( But I missed the whole environment and I made a new friend in the bass section LOL =D
THURSDAY- Today. Since stuff just happened today they are still fresh in my mind. So I finally presented for first period and I'm so glad everyone laughed at my video =) It's soo cute, and Ms Bilan kept nodding her head when I was explaining my points (without reading them off a paper). When I finished, SHE ASKED FOR MY POWER POINT OMG <3333 I love it when teachers do that =D and thanks to YVONNE CHOIR for printing my summary with her beautiful paper =) In english class I rushed on my rough draft for the cpt but at the end of class mrs allen told me that my death of a salesman essay was really good=D This spare was one of the funniest we've had in this semester. Jess, Vee, Mike and I were doing chair races in the computer lab omg <3 It was so nice because there were barely any Halo kids. Even though we're in grade 12 we're still immature as shit man, we gotta get all tight up next year :| On fourth period I finally wrote a poem for my CPT and i'm so freaking proud of it lol. I hate poetry.
So after school I stayed for the grease rehearsal since i'm the stage manager. When mis gluhusnhlkjfbofiuhofn (w/e u spell her last name lol) found out about it she was like omg i love you! O.O so i dont really know whats going on with all these people saying so many nice things. It makes me feel that there something wrong is going to happen soon :| But yeah, Grease is pretty good. Although the songs are easier and same with the plot, the actors have soo many dances im like woaa :| And it's pretty funny, I can't wait until you guys present it!
FRIDAY- It's still not here, YET. This week has gone by soo fast and i'm really excited about tomorrow because i'm seeing someone special :$ See You soon blooog!!

Oh, and new favourite quote:
"I think if you don't really like a girl, you shouldn't horse around with her at all, and if you do like her, then you're supposed to like her face, and if you like her face, you ought to be careful about doing crumby stuff to it, like squirting water all over it" ~Holden Caulfield